Masquerade, masquerade; PAPER FACES ON PARADE.

Friday, March 30, 2007
PBT

Ballet at PBT is fun. =D there were a few of us from my school, tho. Only 6 of us came [ate Mitch, Karenina, Nicole, Tiff, Katrene and me]. It was a 2-hour class taught by Anatoli (sp?). He`s a really great ballet dancer, such an honor to be in his class. =D the PBT company dancers were guh-reat. Especially Abi or Abby, Idk her but she`s so good. She was Esmeralda in "Esmeralda" a few months back. :)

We took class there along with the PBT company dancers and Bodypointe dancers. My friends and I... uhh... let`s just say we have our own personal opinions about the people we took class with. =D I don`t want to be mean all in the wrong places. :))

I`ll be having class at PBT every Friday this summer. =D

Changing the topic...

Someone`s freaking me outtt. :| I`m not telling who, but she`s freaking me out. :|

♥ Erix ♥ 9:20 PM link to post 0 comments

ANTM Cycle 8

I LOVE CYCLE 8! =D my favorites are Renee && Samantha :) Renee kinda looks like Mischa Barton, while Samantha kinda looks like Natalie Portman. =D

I just had to share =))

This is what I shall be doing all summer. WATCHING EPISODES. :|

No one will ever love you as much as I do. Why isn't love enough?

♥ Erix ♥ 12:03 PM link to post 0 comments

Thursday, March 29, 2007
I`m Ahead! =P

For the first time in 8-9 years (yes this is serious =p), I went to SM North Edsa earlier ;) The Block is a pretty place, kinda like The Podium. =D

I`ve finally gotten around to getting a copy of the movie Closer. && I got to watch it the moment I got home. I LOVED IT. :) I also started watching a new series today. It`s called The Dresden Files. It`s about a wizard. Kinda like CSI and the like, but the leading role`s a wizard. IT`S FUN and there are lots of suspense. =D I love it. :)

I`m now on the 4th episode of Search for the Next Doll. The previous episode has been pretty much annoying. You better download the show =D it`s kinda like ANTM but this one`s Search for the Next Pussycat Doll. I love it, too. :) I like Melissa R -- she looks like Nicole. Chelsea`s great too. I hate Sisely, she`s acting like a bitch. More like Lisa from ANTM Cycle 5.

Having a broadband connection has its own benefits :> I`m ahead. From a lot of people. My mom loves downloading episodes online. I`ve seen lots of Grey`s && Prison Break even before they were shown here. =)) and now I`m on Dresden. && Search for the Next Doll. :>

Okay I`m bored now. :[ my mouth doesn`t hurt as much anymore! YAY. :D and I can finally bite onto my food now! =D

I`m kind of happy with my heart`s situation right now =D but...

You think you might wanna love me, too? :)

♥ Erix ♥ 10:15 PM link to post 0 comments

Monday, March 26, 2007
Last Day

Last day of classes today! It was really fun. :) we first had our recognition day at school. Then off to Gateway with friends :) supposedly MOA with Alpha but since many were not allowed, we went to Gateway nalang. I went with Irene, Batchi, Bea, Carell, Jill and later on with Macie. :)

Bea, Batchi, Jill and I watched Premonition. :) it`s a pretty nice movie. I liked it. :)

We all sat around together (complete) at DQ and we were really noisy. We took lots of pictures ;)

Irene, Jan and Macie went home ahead. Jill, Batchi, Carell, Bea and I chilled out for awhile near Timezone. Took pictures again. And this one`s memorable:

BULLDOZING MOMENT. BEA LOVES ME. Look at Carell. She is affected by the "bulldozing". Bea Bonita = best bulldozer in town.

Batchi and I commuted home :) she stayed here for a few hours.

I have been in great pain today. UGH. :| Braces = torture.

http://erikatan.multiply.com
-- more pictures

♥ Erix ♥ 7:50 PM link to post 0 comments

Saturday, March 24, 2007
Mossimo-Speedo Fashion Show

This week has been a busy one.

Monday
Fitting @ Speedo, Serendra. :)

Tuesday-Friday
Final exams. JUNIOR YEAR IS FINALLY OVER =D

Friday
After exams, I had nothing to do. Edlynne, Dowee and Quel made me tag along. We went to SM Manila. We played in Quantum and uh, just went around. I had to leave early, though. I went to Glorietta after, for the fashion show rehearsals. We ended at 9 pm.

Saturday
Mossimo-Speedo Fashion Show. :) it went great. I love my co-models. I love the outfits. I love the make-up. I love everything! Haha. It was my first time to get paid for doing something:)) my first ramp stint. =) and it was super fun. We got to model 3 outfits each for Mossimo and Speedo. As our "prize", we got to keep an outfit from Mossimo, and a GC from Speedo. YAY. Enchong and AJ Dee were my co-models, btw. :P Enchong`s nice. ;)

I could do stuff like these more often ;P

Pictures from my phone (backstage shots) would be uploaded maybe tomorrow night. And official ramp pictures (from tito Rani), maybe next week.

P.S. I loved my make-up, and hair. I had straight hair, and they fixed my eyebrows! :))

I`m not too talkative now since I`m really tired. :))

♥ Erix ♥ 9:48 PM link to post 0 comments

Monday, March 19, 2007
Speedo Fashion Show

I just came home from a fitting for a fashion show. ;) it`s gonna be on Saturday, at Makati. I`ll spill the details when I have them. The fashion show`s gonna be for Speedo. ;)

I love the Speedo at Serendra:)) the dressing room is lovely. The suits are cool, too. I wish I`d get one for free, after the show. Rehearsals on friday. I won`t be able to make it on time. :| I`d still have school. UGH. Enchong Dee might be with us on the show. ;) ;) ;)

I won`t talk too much now since I hafta study. =)) peace. ;)

♥ Erix ♥ 8:56 PM link to post 0 comments

Monday, March 12, 2007
Recollection

Recollection today. It was so far the best recollection I`ve had in CHS. We played the "do you love me?" game and it was fun, but it was so elementary. =)) we, too, played a song game. We had to list as many songs we can list that contains the word "love" or anything related to it. Then the second round we had to list anything that has "hate" or "hurt" and the like. Haha. Nobela and Sorry Na. :)) okay. :| the recollection was more on a talk about love. I kind of hated the talk but it turned out fine. Hated it because of the topic. =)) I cried because they showed some excerpts of The Passion of Christ. No matter what, I still love that movie.

I`m liking ~~three~~ people now. :| one is the same guy I`ve been talking about over and over here. Second is uh, someone who`s keeping a secret from me which sucks. :| and the third, uh, I guess there`s hope. I GUESS. =)) but I`m not sure and I won`t keep my hopes up.

YAY. A few more projects to go then, no more sweat. :]

♥ Erix ♥ 7:51 PM link to post 0 comments

Friday, March 9, 2007
Hit Him With The Ball

Today was not fun.

I've been getting to school pretty late nowadays. I arrive either just in time for the morning assembly or I'm a few seconds late. We had an experiment in Chemistry and so far, I guess it's the only experiment I completed and it's the only one I'd be able to pass. The rest of the periods, we practiced for our Noli Me Tangere play. I'm one of the dancers and during the part of Sisa and Basilio, I'd be dancing ballet.

Training was okay. I did better today, than how I played yesterday. Earlier, during training, someone was in the gym, too. Yeah, ~~him.~~ There was a time when my teammates were playing and I was like "I hope the ball hits him or something", but unfortunately, when I was the one who spiked the ball, it hit him. Well not really. He was seated at the bleachers (the end part) and the ball just bounced off the edge of the bleachers, right beside him. Everyone looked at him, then me. There was awkward silence then all of a sudden they were like "Erix, easy lang!" I couldn't help but look back with a smirk on my face. I wish it hit him though. =)) I am mean, I know. But I'm just really confused and I feel so sick. :( I hate my lovelife. The ball hitting him happened twice. :)) it made me feel a bit better, though. I mean, hello, all this time I've been avoiding him (plus what happened in the staircase earlier, my teammates were talking to him and I just left cause I was avoiding him. Haha.) then I see him all throughout training. That's shit.

Well at least I am learning now, AND I REALLY AM MOVING ON. Little by little, this'll fade.

After training, at least I had a little fun. I again got to chat with Haizel, and I get to slurp a little good news. :)) lots of catching up and personal stuff. It's nice to talk to her and just have some fun. ;)

I wanna cry. Too much stuff to do. I DON'T WANNA STUDY ANYMORE :( too much requirements. Oh Lord, please help. I don't even know where to start. :|

*btw, I created a new Xanga. I'll be cross-posting from here to there, and vice-versa. It's because I am bored and my life is so dull, there's nothing left to do. Plus the summer's near so yay. I wish I wouldn't have a dull summer. I wish, I wish.

02 more weeks to go before summer starts.

♥ Erix ♥ 6:58 PM link to post 0 comments

Tuesday, March 6, 2007
.5% Hope

Don't you just wanna go back? Back in time and fix all the wrong things you've done and do the good things better? But you can't cause you wouldn't be who you are today. But I wish I could go back to January, when things were so much better for me. I know that I've said I'm moving on and that I'm letting go. But I just miss every memory and every feeling I've gone through. I miss feeling the chills when the phone rings and it's him on the other line. I miss feeling the butterflies in my stomach when he held my hand. I miss just having a good time and nothing else. I miss the sweet text messages which btw I haven't deleted yet. Not most of it, I mean. I miss being a princess to someone whom I called my prince. I miss someone saying I love you in every chance he gets, mostly out of nowhere. I miss the way he sings to me on the phone -- which is why every song pretty much reminds me of him.

Yes I'm moving on and he takes up a lesser space in my heart and mind now, but I can't deny the fact that I'm still bleeding, breaking and falling apart. It's pretty hard to let go simply because I get to see him everyday. That couldn't be avoided. Well I'm pretty much improving on the "avoid looking at him" part. And every time I see him you know, I just wanna call his name, approach him, talk to him like I did before, maybe hug him for just one time, maybe hold his hand, and tell him that I love him. But I am afraid that he'll push me away and reject me. I am afraid. And also because I know that I have no right to do those things anymore.

Now I realize that only time can heal my wounds. Thank God the summer's approaching. And I wouldn't be able to see him for 2 months. Well maybe I would but not as often as now.

I'm letting him go because I love him. I still do, I admit it. I'm letting him go but I don't want him to be gone forever. I don't want the memories to die. I miss him. And I would still do until .... whenever.

I still have the littlest hope that he'll come back. The littlest of the little. But just for now, I am happy for him, for whom he's with. And I hope that they'll be happy with each other too. Cause if this girl breaks his heart, it'll break mine, too. I still have that .5% hope. That faith. That wish. That dream. That really really really itsy bitsy chance of him coming back into my arms. :] I quote him: "soon enough for you to wait". I am a very impatient person, but for the weirdest reason, I could wait for him forever and never lose my temper. :]

EMO.

♥ Erix ♥ 6:39 PM link to post 0 comments

Monday, March 5, 2007
It Takes Time.

Today, I tried to confuse my heart.

Fortunately, it worked. I took control over it (my heart) and I'm moving on, finally.

But there are some side effects which sucks. :(

I am out of control (my mind and body. :|) and careless. I am not myself. I was nanggigigil the whole time today, especially during volleyball training. To the extent that I didn't have a good play and that pati si Haizel napanggigilan ko. Lots happened. If you just saw how I was, you'd say that I was a mental freak. Haizel planned to bring me to the mental hospital :)) hahaha. I made her punch me twice. Slap me. And pinch me as hard as she could so I could wake up and be myself again.

ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS SCREAM. OR CRY. I WASN'T ABLE TO DO EITHER. I WAS SUPPOSED TO CRY IT ALL OUT ALREADY WHEN HAIZEL CAME AND TOLD ME SHE WAS HUNGRY:))

I was okay when they invited me to dinner. :] well not really, but I got preoccupied. Haizel and I ate the same thing. After eating, Coach, Haizel and I talked about the McDo Float:)) it was hilarious, that it came to the point that we counted all the ice cubes. =)) Coach's had 34 cubes, Haizel's had 38 and mine had 41. HOW GREAT, right?

Yes, we are weird. =))

I couldn't stand it, confusing my heart I mean. I tried to think of other people today and yes, it worked. But look at the side effect. Man, it just shows that I couldn't do it just yet. Well, I am moving on. That's for one. But IT WILL TAKE TIME. Right now I'm still in the "crying out all my tears just to release the memories of the past" phase. But I'll get through this. I know I will.

I'm tired of getting hurt. I don't wanna love anymore. I don't wanna love him anymore. I've been telling that to myself a couple of times already and this time my heart's listening. Tears run down my cheeks.

Maybe all I need now is more time hanging out with friends. Gimmicks. Parties. The stuff that I used to do.

For the nth time: letting love go is never easy.

But btFw, I AM HAPPY FOR HIM. :]

THIS WILL TAKE TIME.

Ako'y malungkot na naman
Amoy chico na ako
Ilang tagay na, hindi pa rin tulog
Tanong ko lang sa langit
Kung bakit pumangit

Ang dating masaya
Ngayo'y panay problema
Bumabalot sa mundo
O Bakit ganito...

Ang pag-ibig, ganyan talaga
'Pag bago pa ang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga, masaya

Pagkagising ko
Nakita ko si Juan
Na siyang adik sa aming lugar
Parang droga daw ang bisa
Na ginamit nya kanina
Sa una lang daw masarap

Ang pag-ibig, ganyan talaga
Ako'y nilamon ng pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga, masaya

♥ Erix ♥ 6:58 PM link to post 0 comments

Friday, March 2, 2007
One year =))

One year of being single from ... =)) nvm.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Haha funny. A fern && hugs. Yun eh. ;)

♥ Erix ♥ 9:16 PM link to post 0 comments