me. My name's Erika. :) I'm 15. A high school senior.

This used to be my blog. I had it for more than 2 years, but I got pretty sick of it to the point that I only blog once a month when I used to blog everyday. HAHA. I just moved hosts. I still blog, but not here. Look at my latest post here, and you'll know where to find me. :)

archives March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007

credits maker
picture
brushes
blogspot
blogskins

Monday, March 5, 2007
It Takes Time.

Today, I tried to confuse my heart.

Fortunately, it worked. I took control over it (my heart) and I'm moving on, finally.

But there are some side effects which sucks. :(

I am out of control (my mind and body. :|) and careless. I am not myself. I was nanggigigil the whole time today, especially during volleyball training. To the extent that I didn't have a good play and that pati si Haizel napanggigilan ko. Lots happened. If you just saw how I was, you'd say that I was a mental freak. Haizel planned to bring me to the mental hospital :)) hahaha. I made her punch me twice. Slap me. And pinch me as hard as she could so I could wake up and be myself again.

ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS SCREAM. OR CRY. I WASN'T ABLE TO DO EITHER. I WAS SUPPOSED TO CRY IT ALL OUT ALREADY WHEN HAIZEL CAME AND TOLD ME SHE WAS HUNGRY:))

I was okay when they invited me to dinner. :] well not really, but I got preoccupied. Haizel and I ate the same thing. After eating, Coach, Haizel and I talked about the McDo Float:)) it was hilarious, that it came to the point that we counted all the ice cubes. =)) Coach's had 34 cubes, Haizel's had 38 and mine had 41. HOW GREAT, right?

Yes, we are weird. =))

I couldn't stand it, confusing my heart I mean. I tried to think of other people today and yes, it worked. But look at the side effect. Man, it just shows that I couldn't do it just yet. Well, I am moving on. That's for one. But IT WILL TAKE TIME. Right now I'm still in the "crying out all my tears just to release the memories of the past" phase. But I'll get through this. I know I will.

I'm tired of getting hurt. I don't wanna love anymore. I don't wanna love him anymore. I've been telling that to myself a couple of times already and this time my heart's listening. Tears run down my cheeks.

Maybe all I need now is more time hanging out with friends. Gimmicks. Parties. The stuff that I used to do.

For the nth time: letting love go is never easy.

But btFw, I AM HAPPY FOR HIM. :]

THIS WILL TAKE TIME.

Ako'y malungkot na naman
Amoy chico na ako
Ilang tagay na, hindi pa rin tulog
Tanong ko lang sa langit
Kung bakit pumangit

Ang dating masaya
Ngayo'y panay problema
Bumabalot sa mundo
O Bakit ganito...

Ang pag-ibig, ganyan talaga
'Pag bago pa ang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga, masaya

Pagkagising ko
Nakita ko si Juan
Na siyang adik sa aming lugar
Parang droga daw ang bisa
Na ginamit nya kanina
Sa una lang daw masarap

Ang pag-ibig, ganyan talaga
Ako'y nilamon ng pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga, masaya

♥ Erix ♥ 6:58 PM link to post 0 comments