Thursday, May 25, 2006
Suicide
Happy birthday Mama! Happy birthday, Ara! and happy birthday Anton!
Suicide? No, this isn't the normal suicide you would hear about. This is
emotional suicide. I have been killing myself emotionally these past few days. The
masochist in me came back. I hurt myself emotionally and yes, quite physically. I have been getting myself into
numerous fights this summer. I don't even know why I was looking for some war. I have been
liking this guy ever since -- even when I have
always known that he will
never ever like me back. I kept on forcing myself into him. Right now,
I want to forget him. If possible, I don't want to see him again ever. Neither do I want to talk to him.
These days, I have been bad. Really bad. Not only to others (esp the people I have fought with) but even to
myself. I've been mad at myself for doing this and doing that and not letting go, bla bla bla. My life is too much complicated now and I'm having troubles with it.
If I have been bad to you these days, pardon me for that. You know I didn't want to be one, as well. Must I say that the
inner rebel in me has just come out of its shell.
I am hating my life so much right now. That points out why I hate so much things and people right now. Hate hate hate.
I need and want to grow up.*I'm watching X-Men 3 later with mi momma. (: At Promenade, again. Hahaha.
♥ Erix ♥
12:23 PM
link to post
0 comments
